Glenrothes II v Preston Village Cricket Club 1st XI on Sat 10 Jun 2000 at
Preston Village Cricket Club Won 5 wickets
Glenrothes – 10th June 2000 – The Coaching Course
It’s a scene common in most sports clubs when travelling to away games, the team turns up almost on time picks up the directions to the destination and leaves in convoy. It represents an all for 1 and 1 for all theory or the practicality that if we all get lost they can hardly start without us can they? Such theories seldom work ask any rugby of cricket captain in that despite the plan something always happens and the convoy fails to stay together. So on Saturday with little faith in the system PVC Dobbie and his troops set off in a convoy that lasted to a limited extent until the cars left Prestonpans, but was totally shattered by the new traffic system in Wallyford as the “Village People “ road show headed for Glenrothes and its mass of roundabouts.
Armed with detailed instructions this was not a problem except that the instruction were based on reaching the ground from the centre of the town not for those coming from Edinburgh , the result a set of backward instructions and a team of navigational numpties spread all over the Fife town. Thankfully mobile phones allowed some element of contact and after a few alarms the team assembled on time at the ground. Dobbie having mastered the art of calling heads last week did so again and defied the laws of averages by winning an important toss asking the home team to bat first.
Credit has to be given to the home team for getting the match played at all after the rain over the previous days, but despite their best efforts the wicket was slow and the outfield even slower guaranteeing a low scoring match. Ronan and Wright proved to be misery in their bowling reducing their hosts’ top 8 for 2 in the 12th over with Ronan bowling Ritchie and a run out accounting for his opening partner Ritchie. The latter wicket bringing Dick to the wicket.
Having defied the logic of the convoy system and defeated the theory averages the Village People then found that one law that could not be defied was that of gravity. In that what goes up must come down unless stopped by something, for example stopping a cricket ball hitting the ground by catching it. Catching seemed a particular problem for the visitors as a series of dropped catches allowed Dick to top score for his team with 31 ( being dropped 4 times in the process) adding 40 with Yarwood before Grieve took a sharp chance at slip to remove the latter. The catching failed to improve although Dobbie and Conrad- Smith did buck the trend and held catches as the bowlers delivered the good themselves with Black taking 3 for 32 , Ronan 4 for 24 and Belivanis with 1 for 18 as the home teams innings was concluded in the 47th over for 101 with 2 run outs. Of the visitors bowling attack only Wright failed to take a wicket largely as a result of the appalling poor support he was receiving finishing with 0 for 18 from 13 good overs. It remains a credit to Wright’s temperament that despite almost everyone deciding not to interfere with the progress of ball from air to ground that he kept bowling well.
Now any neutral would expect that if one team has 47 overs the other should have at least the same number. Not in the East League where the notion of a draw (for boring sods) still exists in 90 over matches and the only penalty for taking additional overs is the reversal of points in the event of such a result. Given that Scotland is attempting to secure a place in the top echelon of 1 day cricket where it’s a winner takes all situation the logic of hanging on to a draw in domestic cricket is to say the least questionable or bloody silly if the truth be told.
The result was that the “Village People” had been set 102 in 43 overs which became a potential problem a Black was bowled for 6 reducing them to 10 for 1 in the 7th over. This brought Patterson to the wicket with Belivanis and a second wicket partnership of 27 before he was run out for 23. Given that the bat arrived at the boundary 4 or 5 seconds before its owner it seemed fair to assume that its owner was of a view that the fault in the dismissal lay at least in his mind lay with Boycott Belivanis. This seems fair as Belivanis has never voluntarily taken a quick single in his life.
Whether it was or not Belivanis took on his Boycott mode and steered his team towards victory in a 38 run partnership with Read who looked in good form before falling to an exceptional catch by Ritchie then partnerships with Dobbie and Grieve to take the team to 86 for 5 in the 38th over of their reply. Any concerns of falling short of the target in the allot overs disappeared with the arrival of Derek Wright who forced a number of quick singles before crashing a superb boundary to wrap up the points for the visitors with Boycott Belivanis carrying his bat for 33 not out .
Given that the host were second in the league to Preston Villages second bottom perhaps the result represents a turn round in the “peoples” fortunes, next week at Drummond will confirm whether or not this is the case.
Special Mentions
Derek Wright - for putting up with the fielding (again)
Andrew Marr - 2 dropped catches and not going for 3 others - charged with cowardice in the face of the ball
Mano / Boycott - for his coded calling technique
Patterson - for dignity in the face of adversity - throwing the bat and wrecking a changing room after his run out - comments on Mano/Boycott unprintable even on the Internet
Graham Barrie - for the comment of the day - fuck their goes my grant as the 3rd catch he missed hit the ground
PVC Dobbie - For being Dobbie (enough said)
Quote’s/comments of the day
“YES!” – Mano’s tests Patterson’s sprinting techniques with this call when the fielder is picking the ball up to return the ball.
“I think your dad might not be happy at me for that” – Mano reflects on Patterson’s reaction while receiving a drink of water from young Patterson.
“Coaching Course, Fxxxing coaching course, we payed for that to go on a coaching course” – One of only two printable comments from Patterson after being run out by Mano.
“Three, he has never ran fxxxing three in his life” – the other printable comment from Patterson.
“I think I hear the phone ringing” – the Glenrothes groundsman, heads towards the changing rooms after the irate Patterson has thrown his equipment at its door.
“You WOULD have made it in safe a couple of years ago” - A stupid mistake by the captain – trying to calm Patterson down with humour about the run out and his age.
Preston Village Cricket Club 1st XI Batting
102 for 5
Glenrothes II Bowling
Glenrothes II Batting
101 for 10
Preston Village Cricket Club 1st XI Bowling